Ah, Netfrix.  I mean, Netflix.  Asian accent.  When Conan, not the barbarian, O’Brien,  was ousted by Jay Leno’s return to the Tonight Show, he had a clause in his contract that he couldn’t go back on television for six months.  So he rebelled and went on tour and made a movie about it called Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop.

There were two interesting things that I learned from that movie.  As he was finishing up the development of his tour, he had run into a phase of doubt.  Severe doubt.  This is a guy who has an incredible track record of writing good, funny stuff.  He’s written for shows like the Simpsons and Saturday Night Live.  His run on the Late Night with Conan O’Brien from 1993-2009, The Tonight Show from 2009-2010 is nothing to sneeze at either.  So a guy like him, who has a huge fan base, shouldn’t have doubts, right?

And according to Wikipedia, he settled for about 45 million dollars to leave. Doubts?

Yeah.  Doubts.

I was very surprised.

Who among us hasn’t had doubts in any part of our lives?  I know when I sit to write, doubt is something I don’t think about.  Neither is writing a best seller.  Writing the best story that I can is my focus, putting forward my most bestest effort ever.  Afterwards, doubt trickles into my consciousness.  Sometimes heart pounding doubt, in which I go back and revisit what I wrote with a magnifying glass.  But that only makes the words bigger.

But it’s a small comfort that a guy like Conan has doubts.  Yes, he’s human, and it’s human nature to doubt.  But Nicholas Sparks is human.  At least I think so.  From some of his interviews I’ve read, he compares himself to Hemingway.  Now, I ain’t gonna judge, your honor.  You can do whatever you want, but I’ve never liked people who had that mightier than thou attitude.  Get over yourself, dude.

You can’t say that about Conan.  He self deprecates himself on his new show, nightly.  He’s loyal to his crew.  Twelve million of that settlement went to them.  And he has an air of quiet confidence, which allows him to be self deprecating because, for the most part, he knows it ain’t true.

The second thing I learned was  Conan never reads reviews.  Someone off camera had asked if he read reviews of his stage show.  His personal assistant states they’re a waste of time.  I hear that a lot.  From broadway greats such as Lea Salonga, to great romance writer Nora Roberts, and famed Harry Potter actor Daniel Radcliffe don’t read reviews of their work.  Hell.  Johnny Depp doesn’t even watch dailies, which I think are the takes filmed on that day.  And I agree.  I don’t read comments made on my site, nor do I read comments about my writing on other sites, unless they’re  my friends’.

You hear that?  Yes, I’m talking to you select people.  Welcome back and see Blacklisted.

Standing in a room of a hundred people, there can be a hundred varying opinions of me.  I can’t control what they think.  I can’t change what they think.  So why worry about what they think?  Everyone has an opinion, just as they do assholes.

As a writer and a former student of acting, I people watch. Sometimes I’m judgmental when I don’t mean to be. A lot of times I form stories in my head. And most of the time the stories happen on their own. Not sure what it is that makes me do this, but here I am.

If you’ve read my bio, then you know how I feel about the martial arts school I’d come from. But in their defense they have worked very hard to become nationally recognized, especially under the Ed Parker name, and have good relations with certain officials in the Chinese community.

And in the great comedic words of Brian Regan: I don’t want to step on anyone’s beliefs…well…here we go.

I had received an invitation celebrating the head black belt’s 25th anniversary in martial arts, honoring him as teacher and master. The man has done a lot for the school and the discipline. And here’s where I have an issue: the discipline.

I had majored in kinesiology, study of human movement, at university. One of the fundamental principles in learning movement is repetition.

Take writing for example. When we first learned how to write the letter ‘A’, we probably traced dashed lines that formed that letter. The teacher then removed the training wheels and asked us to write the letter ‘A’ on a blank sheet of recycled paper. We learned how to sound out simple words like ‘see’, ‘dog’, ‘run’. Learned the basic structure of a sentence. Then we were taught what a basic paragraph looks like.

Learning martial arts isn’t too far from that. You learn what a fighting stance is, where to put your hands, learn defensive moves like blocking and attacks like punching and kicking. The teacher demonstrates. The student follows.

Once a student learns the alphabet (punching, kicking, blocking), simple self-defense techniques are taught. Someone grabs your shirt, you trap his wrists by grabbing them so he can’t hit you and knee him in the nuts, the balls, the family jewels. More properly known as the groin. (Why are all attackers male?) As the color of your belt changes, so does the complexity of the techniques, like learning how to write a paragraph.

There’s only one problem with this.

When a high school student is given an assignment to write an essay, she must come up with the words on her own. She’ll be given a subject, but she has to do the work.

Fighting is no different. When a person gets attacked, she must fend for herself. Her teacher won’t be there to help. And because people are different, so are their attacks. An attack on a woman will be different than on a man. A man attacking will be different than a woman attacking.

Now, if you’ve watched a boxing match, you’d know that a fight is very dynamic.

Fundamental principle in human reaction: When learning how to cope with two or more different kinds of stimuli, one must train in that similar environment. So if you want to play classical music, then you’ll train to play classical music. Make sense?

Boxers work on technique all the time. Thing is, he can have the best punch in the world, but it’s useless if he can’t hit his opponent. So he focuses on accuracy through different drills like mitt and bag work, and, more importantly, he spars. Not only does he have to contend with his own footwork and where he is in relation to his opponent, he must deal with his opponent’s aggression, physical strength, etc. However, having one sparring partner can become stagnant. Often boxers will have several to mix things up. One person’s tells in poker will differ from another, as an example.

My former school did almost no partner drills or pad/bag work with their general student population. No physical drills in an art that is physical. So what did they do? Practice self-defense techniques in the air. Something Bruce Lee argued against vehemently. Below is a video of how most of the training is done but wasn’t from the school I’m referring to. It’s just a random video that showcases my point.

It was at this point where I’d realized their method of teaching was highly limited. Then came the straw that broke the camel’s back.

We had often made fun of other disciplines like Tae Kwan Do, Karate and such. That once someone gets a black belt, they learn more of the same stuff. They have a saying: You learn more and more about less and less. Clever, yes. Astute? Not so much.

In the school, once a black belt is earned, “new” techniques are learned. All of which are practiced without a partner, in the air, like a student learning to trace more and more complex essays. The value wasn’t there. It’s like a wrestler practicing alone on the mat. If he only does that, he’s not going to fare well against a live person.

They teach: Think outside of the box but bring it to us first and we’ll let you know if we approve of it. My best friend brought them ideas, which they shot down, only to integrate them and call it their own. They gave no credit to my friend. Why? I’m not sure. I don’t think they know. Many of their teachers left, teachers whom I like to term thinkers.

So when I got the invitation, all I could think of was how little has changed there. Certainly, the head black belt has learned a lot. Knowing what I know about human movement, I am certain he’s learned more and more about less and less.

Don’t you hate it when you see a fine young woman and know that she knows that you know that she knows she’s all that? Translation: Because she’s beautiful, she’s going to be high maintenance, conceited, and only want to date guys within her league.

Or at least that’s what a friend said to me on many occasions. He was head over heals for a woman who was beautiful and immediately started to judge her. I’d gotten to know this fine young thing, sorry couldn’t help myself, and she’s nice. She is high maintenance, which isn’t due to her looks, but she’s actually insecure about her looks, despite her looks. Huh?

I’d questioned my friend, who I’ll call Mork, why he thought this way about “Mindy”. “All beautiful girls are like that. All they want is money, a man with power, and a guy with security. That’s why it’s impossible for me to get someone like that.”

My jaw dropped off the earth, circled the moon, and swung off into the beyond.

“Did you just hear what you said?” I asked Mork.

“What?”

“Maybe you think women are this way because you have insecurities about yourself.”

He stared at me like I had shined one of the LED flashlights into his slanty eyeballs.

It’s no wonder women complain men don’t listen. We don’t even listen to ourselves.

I’d applied for an online writing class. The application requested two references who’ve read my writing. It wanted their names, email addresses, birth dates, blood samples, urine samples, social security numbers, psychological breakdowns, and favorite color. OK, maybe not favorite color. But references? It’s not like I’m applying to be an FBI agent. My best friend sent in a raving reference, making me look like I was the Pope of writing.

I’d received an email stating that the school will get back to me within a week to let me know if I was qualified to take the class. Included with the application was a sample of my writing. A couple of days later, I was accepted.

Immediately I thought: Ooh. They must need students and not gotten enough applicants for the class.

Did I just say that? To me?

Obviously, this put a damper in my day as I realized where I truly thought my capability lay as a novelist.

Now, to be clear, it doesn’t matter whether I’m a good writer or not. It matters whether I think I am, or not. As Henry Ford said, either way I think, I’m gonna be right. Gonna…is that good writing?

So a gateway into what you think of yourself are the thoughts that come into your mind. Although, that thought could’ve been situational. Like the kind a lot of people have when their airplane goes through turbulence. A lot of people are afraid the plane will crash. It won’t. But if we put too much energy into a thought, especially ones that reflect our abilities, then we will eventually fulfill them, good or bad.

Like Mork. He’s cool enough to charm a beautiful woman, he’s financially stable, something women want, and he has good values. But his constant negative thoughts on what women want limit his ability to attract them.

Trash talk.  When it comes to sports, trash talk can spell death for the one talking. We saw this with the men’s French swim team in the last Summer Olympics held in China. “The Americans? We’re going to smash them. That’s what we came here for,” Alain Bernard said, referring to the freestyle relay event.

Despite being heavily favored to win, the French lost.  Not sure if you can tell by Phelp’s reaction:

Even when you win, trash talk is something fans don’t appreciate but pay attention to cause it creates drama. Floyd Mayweather Jr. is a great example, considered as one of the best boxers in the world. His trash talk had earned him searing spite among fans. So fans pay to watch the fight to see him lose or get knocked out. As of today, no one has been able to do either.  Still, fans of the sport give little respect to the man holding a 41-0 pro record.  An oddity when legendary greats like Tyson or Ali have losses.

I had attended this past weekend’s UFC 117:  Silva vs. Sonnen.

Anderson Silva is considered the best pound for pound mix martial arts fighter in the world.  All of the top fighters in his division (185 lbs) have tried to beat him.  None ever came close. Silva has won 11 straight wins coming into this fight. In the world of MMA where there are innumerable ways to lose, this is amazing.

But I was never a fan when Silva came to the UFC, and I doubt I’ll ever be.  Why?  I want someone who’s open and real, and somehow he’s not genuine. I’m not the type to like someone just because he’s a winner.

Then comes in Chael Sonnen. He was an NCAA Division I All-American wrestler at the University of Oregon, two-time University National Champion in Greco Roman wrestling, and a US Olympic team alternate. But forget about that.

Not only did he sell tickets and create interest in his fight with heavily favored Silva (7 to 1 odds) with his trash talk, he had earned a fan with me. Here’s why:

“I think I can win this fight, I don’t know I’m gonna win,” said Sonnen on Jim Rome’s radio show.

This has been my life’s philospy. If you wanna be a New York Times best selling author, an Academy award winning actor, a great pro athlete, then you have to start with “I can” and not worry about “But will I?”.

You gotta be in it to win it.

And for four and half rounds, each one being five minutes long, Sonnen had dominated Silva.  As far as I know, Silva had only lost one round in his UFC career. Silva vs. Sonnen was one of the most exciting fights I had seen. I was one of very few who leaped out of the seat, Jersey Shore fist pumpin, screaming as Sonnen pounded away at the champ.

But like all greats, Silva had pulled a triangle hold and won the bout.

Sonnen had backed up every single word, save winning the championship belt. But in the world of MMA, he has made himself a huge factor and revealed a gaping blackhole in a once invincible champion.

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No pain, no gain.

Ronnie Coleman is an 8-time Mr. Olympia.  Mr. Olympia is the pinnacle competition for bodybuilders.  Arnold Schwarzenegger has won it seven times.

In anyone’s travels to the top, which I hear is a lonely place, there are sacrifices that have to be made.  Especially in the sports arena, a lot of athletes work with the adage “No pain, no gain.”  I’ve also heard the downside of that philosophy, over working, over training.  Let’s face it.  Too much of anything is bad.

We can’t go more than a few days without water.  In an apocalyptic world, water would trump gold any day.  But drink too much water, and you’ll die.

I’ve been going to the gym for many years.  I’ve seen many of the same faces.  And many of the same bodies.  Now, I can’t really judge their intentions for going to the gym.  Some need the exercise, prescribed by their doctors.  Others want that rock-hard, beach-ready look.  I can, however, read their intentions by their actions.  And I’d say most people who go to the gym want to look good nekked (naked for those who is unfamiliar with Eddie Murphy).

Here are a few indications:  the gym is pact during New Years and Mondays, guys grunt needlessly as they lift, others talk about their fast cars when scantily clothed females are near by, and still others roll up their t-shirt sleeves, glaring at themselves in the mirror.  Even worse are those who spend endless hours on the treadmill or stationary bike, reading books.  But rarely do I see any change in their body composition over the years.

What do people do instead?

Whine and quit.

So, maybe, no pain, no gain is the way to go.

When I first started training, a friend of mine would go lift with me.  Not only did he have the worst form, but his diet was full of crap food.  And within a couple of months, his strength gains and build had improved faster than I’ve ever seen.  He was also very athletically gifted, and suffered no “pain”.

Recently, I had talked to a kid who was going to the gym four times a week.  He’d been working out for several years but made little headway to the physique he wanted.  Looking at his body, I asked him what he did.  Once he became aware he made little progress, he did a little researched and realized he’d been complacent.

Now, every single workout is different.  It takes a bit more effort, putting more thought into his workouts, most of his sessions are difficult both mentally and physically.  I see him.  From the very first set to the last, he pushes hard.  I feel the pain as he hammers out each set.  As a result, he’s able to lift more weight than a lot of the bigger guys in the gym.  And he’s reaping the rewards.

The key here is that he became aware and made changes.

So life isn’t just about no pain, no gain as much as noticing where you are, what have you done to get to where you want to be, and do you have to make changes that may be uncomfortable to fulfill your dreams.  For some, it’s painless.  For others, it’s not.

I’d just got done rewriting my query letter (after many, many versions) and perused over to the magazine aisle.  And I ran into The Rock.

He’d written an editorial and said something that peaked my interest.  ”Hard work always pay.”  You can see the quote on the magazine cover.

I read the editorial, which was well written, and he mentioned nothing about hard work.  People often think of hard work as being difficult.  I’ve come to know it as being consistent and focused.  This is exactly what the editorial was about.  Showing up and being focused like a laser.  If you look at his career, he’s attained what he’s set his sights on.  No question about it.

As most of you may know, the 2010 Winter Olympics have started.  One of my favorite events to watch is figure skating, both singles and couples.  Tonight, China won first and second.  The focus has surrounded the gold medalist couple, who are married in real life.  Their story is well known in figure skating circles.

Oh!  My back hurts just looking at her.

Shen Xue and Zhao Hongbo have dreamed of Olympic gold for the past eighteen years, since they first were paired by their coach Yao Bin.  Yao Bin had dedicated 30 years of his life bringing couples figure skating to what it is today in China.  He’d suffered huge embarrassment during the 1980 World Championships in Dortmund, West Germany.  He recalls people laughing as the Chinese placed last.

So what’s the point?

Yao Bin was determined to win gold.  And he spent the next three decades, away from his family, honing his skaters’ skills, his coaching skills, studying video of championship figure skaters, doing everything he could to attain what he attained tonight.

Was it difficult?

I have no idea.  But as I watched him on TV, his mind was highly focused and fully present.  He had to trust that all the work Shen and Zhao had put in would come to fruition.  Keep in mind that this is the couple’s fourth attempt, fourth Olympics.  That’s sixteen years.  Zhao, the husband, is 36 years young, and his wife, Shen, is 31.  Age was not a factor as they competed against much younger couples.

Their physical strength, pure athleticism, and grace performed under the pressure of the Olympics.  Difficult?  Sure.  But the testament to their passion, which makes difficult work to others effortless (like being in the zone), was shown at how easy it was when they floated over the ice.  They had to have practiced consistently, concentrating on every minute detail.  Otherwise, the pressure alone would have torn them down.

The key here is doing what you’re passionate about.  Because it’s easier to get what you want when you’re passionate and energetic about something.  Imagine having sex with someone you find ugly.  Difficult?  Yes.  Now imagine having sex with someone you find hot!  Effortless?  Hell yeah!  And you’d probably show up many times.

Did I mention the throws the female skaters completed were insane?

So with anything worth doing in life, show up and focus on exactly what you’re working for.  For dreams are meant to be fulfilled.

It is possible to move a mountain by carrying away small stones.  -Old Chinese proverb.

Old fashioned martial arts schools are behind the times.

Recently in the past few weeks, people have asked why I think martial arts schools are behind the times.  Why I referred to the school I used to attend as crap in mybio.

Bruce Lee said it best:  ”Learn the principle, abide by the principle, and dissolve the principle. In short, enter a mold without being caged in it. Obey the principle without being bound by it.”

In earning my kinesiology degree, I learned something about human movement that not only undermined years of martial arts practice, but destroyed the basis of most martial art foundations.

Most schools teach by practicing patterns of movement.  There’s nothing wrong with this, but eventually people need to move past this mode of learning.

I remember learning how to write, doing lessons in workbooks.  One of them required me to follow dotted lines for each of the letters of the alphabet.  Once we graduated from that simple lesson, our class moved to copying simple sentences my teacher wrote on the blackboard.  Then she wrote simple paragraphs that we copied into our notebooks.  The paragraphs we copied got longer.  As we moved up the elementary school echelon, we were taught the structures of the three paragraph essay, then the five paragraph essay.  We were given subjects to write about and we wrote.  And so on and so forth.

Now, imagine teenagers in high school, or students in college being given homework, copying dotted letters of the alphabet.  That is what you have in the traditional martial arts school.

Have you seen old English calligraphy?  All those swirls, extra lines, and decorations?  How inefficient would that be in everyday writing?  A lot of that is in traditional martial arts, as well.

In our particular school, we always made fun of Tae Kwan Do students.  They limited themselves to kicking, and when sparring they didn’t allow striking to the head.  But one thing they did a lot was sparring.  Sparring is the key to truly learning anything.

Kinesiology taught me that people need to be in dynamic environments if they are to perform in dynamic environments.  If I taught you a martial arts technique to deal with a right punch, and I drilled that technique over and over again, all you would’ve learned was the technique.  What you wouldn’t know how to do is react to the right punch.  To do that, you can’t be told that a right punch is coming.  And sparring gives you that opportunity.

Yes, learn the technique.  Yes, practice the technique.  Then forget it.

The above quote by Bruce states exactly how I live my life.

When I first attempted my first three novels, I had no idea what I was doing.  Then my best friend suggested many sources that spoke on the structure and techniques of fiction writing.  I read them, attended seminars and learned so much.  But those lessons didn’t sink in until I sat down and wrote.  By the end of my many revisions and writing myepisodes,I had to go back and do one last revision/rewrite.  I’d changed so much as a writer that I had to do a line by line examination of my manuscript.

I didn’t want to at first.  I knew it would take a long time.  But once I dug in, I became more intimately engrossed with my story.  And something happened that was unexpected.  I fell in love with my story again.

I also realized that I’d broken some rules of writing.  I didn’t do it on purpose.  That’s just the way the story needed to be told.

Bruce Lee said:  ”Using no way as way, having no limitation as limitation.”  That has definitely worked out for him.

Mr. Miyagi points to his head. “Karate heah.” He taps his heart. “Karate heah.” He grabs his belt. “Karate nevah heah.”

I was reading an article in one of those karate or kung fu magazines. It was written by a practitioner. He was discussing how spirituality was missing from MMA, specifically targetting UFC fighters. That all fighters wanted was to be champions, to have fame, fortune, and busty ladies swarming around them.

Hell…what man wouldn’t want that?

It’s obvious there’s a huge misunderstanding of how spirituality should be practiced, or that MMA fighters don’t practice it. And it was also obvious this practitioner didn’t watch MMA, read the forums, interviews, and watch post fight conferences like I do.

It’s one of my many vices.

The wise practitioner, the writer of this wise article, full of wisdom, full of research, and full of shit harped on the lack of inner peace. Through his wise words I knew this person never fought, or if he did, then he approached it without inner peace. As wise and full of wisdom as he ascertained.

I’m a huge MMA fan. Watched hundreds of hours of interviews. And one thing that all fighters strain to get is inner peace. One of the most popular UFC fighters is former light heavy weight champion Chuck “The Iceman” Lidell. His monicker indicates that his nerves are as cold as ice before, during and after a fight. Every fighter praises him for that. Because if a fighter gets too excited, they’ll waste energy, suffer from an adrenalin dump, or are prone to mistakes. And mistakes in a game where there are literally dozens upon dozens of ways to lose isn’t a good thing. Keeping your cool is essential. And the current dominant fighters of the UFC and Strikeforce exhibit this without a doubt.

I get more nervous watching them fight.

Back to this all wise practitioner. His practice of inner peace is through meditation. I’m surmising here. But it’s pretty common. And there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, it’s pretty easy to reach inner peace when you’re peaceful.  It’s kinda like going into a room full of yellow balloons to look for a yellow balloon.

Now, if we place a fighter punching this all wise practitioner in the face, how well would he be able to keep inner peace? Not well. But MMA fighters do this every day. And their ability to keep this inner peace allows them to adapt to the fight. It’s very common to see one fighter losing the fight badly, and with a slight change of strategy he comes up with the win.

This can’t be done if the fighter panics because he isn’t present enough to analyze what’s going on.

MMA fighters also practice 6-8 hours a day. They have to love the process and love the journey to continue to learn and challenge themselves. Another principle of spiritualitism.

All fighters want to be champions. But as they climb the ladder to contention, they remain present and focus on their current opponent. They study tapes, go over strategy, hire fighters who can mimic their opponents, and rarely think pass them. The principle of being present is at work here.

MMA fighters practice inner peace, but they do it in an environment that doesn’t elicit it.  So who’s more skilled at inner peace?  Someone who practices in a peaceful environment?  Or someone who practices in a violent one?

I wrote this because it struck me as a huge misunderstanding of MMA fighters.  To be misunderstood is a sore subject for my main character in my book.  He’s continually misunderstood by the people he’s sworn to protect, but he pushes on because it is what he does.  What hero gives up?

In researching warrior societies for my book, a commonality is they started training at preadolescence.  There weren’t any real exceptions for good reason.  All of thesocietiesI focused on stemmed from hundreds to thousands of years ago where men had to protect or fight for what they had.

Native Americans had to protect their villages.  Scots fought for their land and freedom during the English occupation.  Samurai fought for their warlords during Japan’s monarchy.  Spartons threw their young into the agoge to become Greece’s special forces.

Life was treacherous.  As a result, fighting became a necessity.

But do you have to start at a young age to be good at anything?  It seems that a lot of successful people of today started their endeavors when they were children.  Michael Jackson is a good example.  The turn out for his remembrance is a tribute to his passion and hard work.  But look at the other brothers.  What happened to them?

What about the colonel?  That’s right.  The man who made fried chicken a staple in America?  Did he start frying poultry when he was young?  He had a variety of jobs that had little to do with flightless birds.  It wasn’t until his late forties that he started a cafe, and his fried chickens had become popular.  Then at the ripe young age of sixty six did he start selling franchises, which of course spawned the empire all chickens fear today.

The Ultimate Fighting Championship is about to have its 100th pay per view show this weekend.  The heavyweight champion, Brock Lesnar, started to train how to fight just a few years ago.  It’s fair to say that a lot of great fighters on the UFC roster started when they were young.  And Lesnar is highly talented as an athlete.  But the one thing the UFC has proven over and over again is talent and experience has little to do with winning.  More than hard work, it’s a mindset forged under the heat of severe competition.

For Lesnar to become the heavyweight champion in four fights, which is amazing in its own right, he had to overcome some very experienced and gifted fighters.  In listening to his many interviews, he always knew his unproven ability to win, worked extremely hard, and approached both his fights and training with an intelligence that some heavyweights ignored.  A lot of them relied on their weight and size to prevail.

He scoffed at critics who said he was too green for the sport of mixed martial arts, that he needed experience before he could even challenge the prior champion, and, despite his explosiveness and size, knew he had to learn quickly with a furious pace.

Is it ever too late to start anything?

Yes.  When you’re dead.

A couple of years ago I injured my shoulder.  I don’t know how but assumed it happened at the gym.  My rotator cuff hurt severely when I did any type of chest exercise.

It sucked.

I was used to benching a certain amount of weight, but had to cut it by more than 50%.  I can tell you my ego didn’t like it one bit.  I still wanted to workout and knew how to rehab my shoulder.  Within a couple of weeks, my ego agreed to the necessary decreased weight.  But with every gym session I added 2.5 pounds to my bench.  Eventually, I lost track of how much weight I benched and focused on keeping healthy, writing, working, etc.

Several months later, I noticed I was benching a lot more weight than I’d had in my life.  And I workout by myself.  I can’t find a training partner that has a similar schedule to mine.  This taught me something.

Small adjustments can add up.

Writing theEpisodeshasn’t yielded the audience I was expecting.  That was my first mistake, expecting.  But the audience has grown little by little, even though not all vote.  Despite my desire to bring fame and fortune to my book, I realized something.  My disappointment always vanished when I sat down to write.  My heartbreak wilted when I went to the gym.  My love for story, my love for writing, my love and gratitude for the imagination given to me is precious.

Every day I take steps toward my wants and desires.  Every day I do my best to release my expectations by doing the things I love, andexpressing myself honestly.Every day I go to my day job knowing that I’m providing for my ability to live my night job (job is totally the wrong word here).  Every day small adjustments will be made because small adjustments make a huge difference towardsuccess.