Comments on: Practice Feeling Bad? http://7thprovince.com/practice-feeling-bad/ Sat, 10 Dec 2011 03:56:09 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: christopher "men don't feel" long http://7thprovince.com/practice-feeling-bad/comment-page-1/#comment-584 christopher "men don't feel" long Mon, 23 Aug 2010 05:40:07 +0000 http://7thprovince.com/?p=1438#comment-584 Dogs and cats clearly mourn when they lose someone important (whether human or animal), and they're certainly not "programmed" to feel sad. So why should we feel guilty on top of feeling the pain of loss? What would you think about a parent who didn't grieve over the loss of a child? In my line of work I've met many parents who have lost children, and they all tell me the same thing: you never get over it. I would never suggest those people are choosing to be sad and they should make a better choice. That would strike me as particularly callous and unfeeling. Then there are the people who seem to thrive on drama and would have no identity if they weren't miserable most of their waking lives. These types need to Just Get Over It. I'm just saying don't fear emotions, even the worst ones. They're always trying to tell you something, but once you've taken the time to listen and get the message, then move on. The emotion has served its purpose.<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('584','christopher \"men don\'t feel\" long'); return false;">Reply</a> - <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('584','christopher \"men don\'t feel\" long','Dogs and cats clearly mourn when they lose someone important (whether human or animal), and they\'re certainly not \"programmed\" to feel sad. So why should we feel guilty on top of feeling the pain of loss? What would you think about a parent who didn\'t grieve over the loss of a child? In my line of work I\'ve met many parents who have lost children, and they all tell me the same thing: you never get over it. I would never suggest those people are choosing to be sad and they should make a better choice. That would strike me as particularly callous and unfeeling.\r\n\r\nThen there are the people who seem to thrive on drama and would have no identity if they weren\'t miserable most of their waking lives. These types need to Just Get Over It. \r\n\r\nI\'m just saying don\'t fear emotions, even the worst ones. They\'re always trying to tell you something, but once you\'ve taken the time to listen and get the message, then move on. The emotion has served its purpose.'); return false;">Quote</a></div> Dogs and cats clearly mourn when they lose someone important (whether human or animal), and they’re certainly not “programmed” to feel sad. So why should we feel guilty on top of feeling the pain of loss? What would you think about a parent who didn’t grieve over the loss of a child? In my line of work I’ve met many parents who have lost children, and they all tell me the same thing: you never get over it. I would never suggest those people are choosing to be sad and they should make a better choice. That would strike me as particularly callous and unfeeling.

Then there are the people who seem to thrive on drama and would have no identity if they weren’t miserable most of their waking lives. These types need to Just Get Over It.

I’m just saying don’t fear emotions, even the worst ones. They’re always trying to tell you something, but once you’ve taken the time to listen and get the message, then move on. The emotion has served its purpose.

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]]> By: Jimmy Ng http://7thprovince.com/practice-feeling-bad/comment-page-1/#comment-567 Jimmy Ng Tue, 03 Aug 2010 06:50:36 +0000 http://7thprovince.com/?p=1438#comment-567 The post isn't advocating feeling happy all the time. That would be impossible. It's like walking around not wanting to feel any pain, but when we fall, we do. It's built into our bodies. The post merely states that we put too much practice in not feeling happy. So when we do, we run away because we either know it'll end, or that we just don't know how to be happy for an extended amount of time. I also never said peace was an emotion. I did say to feel peace. I can also say I feel hot, knowing that hot is not an emotion. Unless I'm referring to a hot chic. Those emotions tend to grow. Ahem. But you feeling suspect if someone doesn't mourn by feeling bad only indicates that we are programmed to feel bad when something bad happens. I'm like this. But I also realize there is another option of feeling, or being in peace when confronted with chaos.<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('567','Jimmy Ng'); return false;">Reply</a> - <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('567','Jimmy Ng','The post isn\'t advocating feeling happy all the time. That would be impossible. It\'s like walking around not wanting to feel any pain, but when we fall, we do. It\'s built into our bodies. \r\n\r\nThe post merely states that we put too much practice in not feeling happy. So when we do, we run away because we either know it\'ll end, or that we just don\'t know how to be happy for an extended amount of time. \r\n\r\nI also never said peace was an emotion. I did say to feel peace. I can also say I feel hot, knowing that hot is not an emotion. Unless I\'m referring to a hot chic. Those emotions tend to grow. Ahem.\r\n\r\nBut you feeling suspect if someone doesn\'t mourn by feeling bad only indicates that we are programmed to feel bad when something bad happens. I\'m like this. But I also realize there is another option of feeling, or being in peace when confronted with chaos.'); return false;">Quote</a></div> The post isn’t advocating feeling happy all the time. That would be impossible. It’s like walking around not wanting to feel any pain, but when we fall, we do. It’s built into our bodies.

The post merely states that we put too much practice in not feeling happy. So when we do, we run away because we either know it’ll end, or that we just don’t know how to be happy for an extended amount of time.

I also never said peace was an emotion. I did say to feel peace. I can also say I feel hot, knowing that hot is not an emotion. Unless I’m referring to a hot chic. Those emotions tend to grow. Ahem.

But you feeling suspect if someone doesn’t mourn by feeling bad only indicates that we are programmed to feel bad when something bad happens. I’m like this. But I also realize there is another option of feeling, or being in peace when confronted with chaos.

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]]> By: christopher "happiness is a warm gun" long http://7thprovince.com/practice-feeling-bad/comment-page-1/#comment-555 christopher "happiness is a warm gun" long Sat, 17 Jul 2010 09:05:07 +0000 http://7thprovince.com/?p=1438#comment-555 If you're always happy, how do you know you're happy? Don't you need to be sad sometimes to recognize the difference? I'm a strong believer that every emotion is valid, or we wouldn't be able to feel it. It's getting STUCK in a single emotion (including joy) that's unhealthy. And peace isn't an emotion. You can be at peace with your grief, knowing that it's the appropriate response to a tragic event. I would be very suspect of someone who did not grieve a true loss.<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('555','christopher \"happiness is a warm gun\" long'); return false;">Reply</a> - <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('555','christopher \"happiness is a warm gun\" long','If you\'re always happy, how do you know you\'re happy? Don\'t you need to be sad sometimes to recognize the difference?\r\n\r\nI\'m a strong believer that every emotion is valid, or we wouldn\'t be able to feel it. It\'s getting STUCK in a single emotion (including joy) that\'s unhealthy. \r\n\r\nAnd peace isn\'t an emotion. You can be at peace with your grief, knowing that it\'s the appropriate response to a tragic event. I would be very suspect of someone who did not grieve a true loss.'); return false;">Quote</a></div> If you’re always happy, how do you know you’re happy? Don’t you need to be sad sometimes to recognize the difference?

I’m a strong believer that every emotion is valid, or we wouldn’t be able to feel it. It’s getting STUCK in a single emotion (including joy) that’s unhealthy.

And peace isn’t an emotion. You can be at peace with your grief, knowing that it’s the appropriate response to a tragic event. I would be very suspect of someone who did not grieve a true loss.

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