Do you feel depressed or unhappy because that’s how you think you should feel?

I’d come across a method of getting rid of feelings of anxiety, which would eventually lead to great things that I wanted to create in my life.  Who wouldn’t want that?

So I bought the book The Sedona Method, by Hale Dwoskin.  It was a pretty easy read and the exercises were really simple.  In recommending the book to my best friend, he’d got it but had one complaint.  

“I wish the feeling of peace would last longer,” he said.

I agreed. 

Then I was listening to one of my favorite speakers and author, Michael Neill, and he mentioned that most people felt any variance of unhappiness  because they thought they should. 

For example, if someone insulted you or cut you off while driving (man, I hate that) would you get angry?  Want revenge (guilty)?

If you lost someone special, do you need to feel bad in order to mourn? Or can you mourn and feel at peace, or happy?

Maybe in some way we’re trained to feel unhappy.  Bad thing happens, time to feel bad.  Kinda like Pavlov’s dog.  Or ever heard too much of a good thing is bad (religion anyone)?  Don’t wanna feel too happy or else…what?

I don’t know.  Happiness?

Then I realized that we practiced feeling not at peace that we got to be pretty goddamn good at it.

So when tools such as The Sedona Method comes along, we need to practice feeling happy, peaceful, instead of feeling unsatisfied that it didn’t work.

It’s been some time since I’ve posted. I’m in the midst if revising my book. It’s been a tedious process. Tedious in that I’ve had to read chapters several times in order to catch the things I’m looking for. But I’m enjoying it surprisingly enough. I’m not a patient person.

Recently I went to a comedypalooza type of show where a dozen comedians put on a great performance. Over half of them are well known in Hollywood. This was an outdoor event with an estimated 20,000 people.

I noticed something. When the stats came out the United States was the most fat country in the world, I never realized how true that was. As I was sitting on the lawn enjoying the show, at least half of the people were fat. Fat enough that I could roll them down the hill and they’d have problems stopping.

Is this a mean thing to say?

Probably. Depends on your perspective.

There are fat people who are very comfortable with their weight. They feel good about themselves, love themselves, love who they are. I’m not referring to those people. I’m referring to those who complain about their weight and do nothng about it.

I have a friend who at his peak was 300 pounds. He was fat. Sported man boobs. He was unsatisfied with his body composition. He took the time to research what his diet should be, exercised almost every day, and avoided the scale. In about a year and a half he’d lost 125 pounds. Not only was that fast, but he looks muscular. When I saw him, keep in mind I was used to the fat version, my limitations on weight loss disappeared.

I went to eat dinner with a friend the other day. Ordered a grilled chicken salad. When it came it was enough to feed a small army. Part of the issue is we eat large amounts of food in each sitting over the whole day. But the real problem is not being aware of how you feel and what you do.

I can’t tell you how often I see people hate on their fatness and carry around a box of Nabisco Cheese crackers. Or they’ll devour candy like Armageddon is coming. And they wonder why they don’t feel good and expect doctors to prescribe dozens of pills for the ailments they suffer.

It’s freaking ridiculous.

Want to change? Then you gotta do it. Just like Nike says. Do It.

Have you ever felt angry?  Then have the crazy thought it was wrong to feel this way?

I was talking to a friend today.  She made huge changes in her life recently.  Changes that was necessary.  Fortunately, she’s grown quite a bit.

A lot of the things she went through, I witnessed some of it, angered her.  Anyone in her position would definitely feel obligated, entitled to be pissed off.  Then she said it was wrong to feel this way and tried to think positive thoughts.

That gets me.

One of the most annoying things the self-help industry has tried to push is thinking positively.  It’s on the level of losing weight and getting six pack abs through electrodes. Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to jealousy.  OK…should be suffering.

Damn you, Yoda!

Sorry, Mr. Lucas.

First of all, humans are like…people.  And people feel things.  They want to feel things.  If they didn’t, then why write stories that have drama?  Conflict?  Why does reality TV only show stuff that gets our blood boiling?

Cuz we be addicted to emotion.

Feel the the fear, the anger, the hate, and, my oh my, feel the jealousy.

Whenever you feel these emotions, it feels good in the beginning because you’re letting steam out.  It’s like letting out the pressure from a boiling teapot.  But dwelling in these emotions is like turning up the fire until all the water is vaporized.

DWELL on any of these, then you’ll go to the dark side.  Dwell means live in.

Now you’re empty.

As humans go, we tend to want to fill the emptiness with something.  For example, we buy things because we think it’ll make us happy.  And because once an object in motion stays in motion, we’ll fill it with more of the same stuff.  More fear, anger, hate, jealousy.

So don’t live in these emotions.  Feel them and let it go.  Turn your attention to something you like or love, something that you enjoy without being destructive.  Another words don’t eat your way to happiness.  Don’t inject your problems away.  Don’t fill your life with meaningless material things.

I tend to go to the gym when I come up against a wall.  Women in tight clothes tend to fill me with glee.  Yes, I’m a dork.  Or I’ll read a good book, watch a good movie, or talk to close friends.

Your question now should be:  Does feeling these emotions tell me anything?

If you feel fear, maybe there’s something to it.  Like if a guy approaches you and you have a creepy feeling about him, it’s time for you to leave.

If someone slaps you, and you feel angry, then it’s obvious you don’t like being slapped.

If you hate something, then maybe you don’t like it.

Or if you see someone approach your significant other, and you feel jealous, then maybe it shows you how much you love them.

No need to complicate things.

I delved into this a lot because several of my main characters deal with guilt.  So I did a lot of research about it.  And, man, we all need to let go.

Many have asked why we are here, why were are born.

My personal philosophy is that the meaning of life is to be happy.  As children were happy.  We spit up, drool, pick our noses, crap, and we laugh about it.  Babies cry because they need something – changing, food, injury – but that’s not sadness.

A lot of people who teach personal growth/spirituality state that we all are born with a purpose.   And they also say we know our paths since childhood, and it isn’t until well intentioned adults impose their own view of what reality/practicality is that we veer off it.  Let’s assume that’s true.

So if you’re in a job and you aren’t doing well in it, despite how much and hard you try to do well, is it a sign that you need to change?

Or if you’re with someone and everything is going well, the connection is there, the core values are there, is this the person you’re meant to be with?

Your parents divorce, leaving you to play on your own because you don’t feel like making friends.  You spend your time pretending, fantasizing, making characters, and gain the skill of story telling.  Should you story tell?  (Robin Williams)

What about you go to Hollywood and you audition like crazy.  You love acting, love the arts, love the the city of angels.  People say you’re a great actress, but every single audition yields nothing.  When is enough enough?  Or is there a limit?

I do know signs are given to us.  I mean, if you’re at a job and don’t like it, ask yourself why?  If the reason is because you want something better, or the job holds no meaning, move on.  Right?

Or if you’re with someone and everything seems to be working, then you would continue to see them.  Yeah?

And what about reality/practicality versus dreams.  Failure happens, but isn’t it meant to help guide us like driving a car?  Veer too close to the curb, turn the wheel.  Hear your tire hit the middle road markers, adjust your wheel.  These things have lead me to become a writer.  Since I’ve made that decision and committed to completing a book, I’ve felt content.  I’ve even found myself not really wanting to buy things.  Not the way I used to anyways.

Tell me what you think?