“It takes five seconds a day and you’ll see results yesterday. It’s so easy you’ll barely do anything but sit there.”

Yeah. The result is that you just bought a piece of crap machine that does nothing but take your $19.95 from your credit card.

I was eating cheese today with a group of people and heard a woman say how ignorant Americans were. She was talking about how the cheese made overseas was better than cheese made in America.

I thought, What?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!

What you see with the ?!?!?!???? is what we edumacated writers call a no no, a sin, a taboo in accepted English grammar.

Why we be so ignant? Cuz we ignant Americans have a law dat requires pasturizin da cheese.

For you folks I misspelled these words on purpose. Ignant for the Ebonics challenged means ignorant. Dat means that.

Getting back to ignance…

When I went to Walmart I looked at a ream of paper. One pack was a dollah fitty. Another was two dollah fitty. What was the difference? I have no idea. One dollah?

Can I make my own paper? No. In fact, I go to Walmart because I can’t make paper as good as the two dollah fitty version, let alone the one dollah fitty version. I doubt that ego ridden woman sitting on her highchair could make paper. Yes, the highchair babies use.

To further my point, she can’t make anything Walmart sells. That’s why Walmart sells stuff. So we don’t need to know how to make stuff. That doesn’t make us ignant. It allows us to focus on things that are more important. Like friends and family, our passions, or just being.

So the next time anyone makes fun of Walmart, ask them if they can make anything they sell. 100 to nothin they can’t.

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