“Elect me and I will save the world.”

“Read my lips:  no new taxes.”

I’ve worked in many corporations.  The one thing they all do is shell out propaganda.  They hail how innocent and awesome they are.

When I turn on my computer at work, the homepage is locked to our intranet webpage.  Every day we’re bombarded by propaganda.  Sometimes I feel chained.

So it was a bit entertaining for me to read an article my company posted about why teens are angry.  They even had a doctor share some advise.  I mean, he’s got a PhD.

“I think zombies are defined by behavior and can be “explained” by many handy shortcuts: the supernatural, radiation, a virus, space visitors, secret weapons, a Harvard education…”  -Roger Ebert in reviewing The Crazies.

The doctor’s article was a magnificently crafted and well written piece of crap.  I found one crucial thing missing.  And upon teaching and mentoring kids for most of my adult life, there has become no one-size-fits-all advice, save one.

Listening.

I had a student once whose parents put him under so much pressure to do well in high school that he was on the verge of suicide.  At first I thought, “What did I do?”  But it had been a year since the end of our sessions.  So I thought back to them to see what was the root cause of such destructive behavior.

My student and I had taken a walk one day and just talked.  My approach in teaching, despite coming from a very tier-structured martial arts background, was to view any student as an equal.  I’m not a teacher.  They are not students.  We are human beings.

The subject of ivy league education came up, something his parents expected of him.  I asked him if he wanted to go.  He answered yes.  There was a lot of trepidation in his voice.  So I asked him if he was sure.  He slumped his shoulder and said he really didn’t care about going to an ivy league school.  That he was happy to just receive a normal (whatever that means) education.

I presented what I’d learned to his parents and, of course, they were upset.  Like I had opened Pandora’s Box.

A couple years later, he was on the verge of suicide.

Being loving parents, they got the best help they could afford.  Interestingly enough, the parents were instructed to relieve all pressures of any kind, which included the pressure of school, and to allow him to express himself in anyway he wanted to.

Today, I’m very glad to say he’s thriving.

We talk so much about listening when in intimate relationships.  But we rarely talk about it when it comes to raising children.

I tell parents that their children are like people (wink wink).  Treat them like people.  Ask them how they feel.  What they want? Why do they want or feel that way?  Is there anything they need?  If not, let them know you’ll be there with no judgement.  For judgement is the lock that will shut the door to their children.

Be open with them, and they’ll be open with you.

In my lessons, I let my students, no matter the age, say what they want.  Swearing included.  I do give advice, if they want, but I tell them it’s up to them to follow it.  My mentoring process changes as they change, which is why I believe there is no one-size-fits-all guide to children.

Just listen.

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Today, I’ve uploaded my second favorite lecture from the San Francisco Writer’s Conference.  It’s not a lecture but a panel of literary agents from fiction to non-fiction, from Christian literature to inspirational.

We were allowed to ask questions on what they wanted to see in books, how to submit queries, synopsis, and they talked about platforms and self-publishing.  All of it will give you a glimpse into what they’re looking for.

I do want to warn you that a hyena sat next to me who didn’t have the most pleasant of breath.  Imagine me sitting, and every time you hear him laugh, his fiery breath singed the left side of my face.  However, it didn’t take away from what I learned.

The surprising thing about the whole experience is that the answers to some of these questions varied widely.  Amazingly, agents are just like people.  So finding the right agent is just a matter of sifting through all the wrong ones.  For most successful authors, they tend to stick with their agents for a long time.  Again it’s just a testament that perseverance is vital in the achievement of our dreams.

And the other thing that I learned from the whole conference is how much of an author’s success rests in the author’s hand.  One person went as far to state that 90% of our success sits with us.  If you’re curious to how, go to my posts on Brenda Novak and Branding.

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He discusses what he did to get his book out to the world.  Richard was cool enough to tell a few other stories.  Some were touching and others funny.  He also  gave some inspiring advice to us authors.  I highly recommend listening him.

richard-paul-evans

Tell me what you think.  Please forgive the poor recording.  All three hundred of us were having lunch.

Tomorrow, I’ll upload a lecture about branding.

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