Have you ever felt angry?  Then have the crazy thought it was wrong to feel this way?

I was talking to a friend today.  She made huge changes in her life recently.  Changes that was necessary.  Fortunately, she’s grown quite a bit.

A lot of the things she went through, I witnessed some of it, angered her.  Anyone in her position would definitely feel obligated, entitled to be pissed off.  Then she said it was wrong to feel this way and tried to think positive thoughts.

That gets me.

One of the most annoying things the self-help industry has tried to push is thinking positively.  It’s on the level of losing weight and getting six pack abs through electrodes. Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to jealousy.  OK…should be suffering.

Damn you, Yoda!

Sorry, Mr. Lucas.

First of all, humans are like…people.  And people feel things.  They want to feel things.  If they didn’t, then why write stories that have drama?  Conflict?  Why does reality TV only show stuff that gets our blood boiling?

Cuz we be addicted to emotion.

Feel the the fear, the anger, the hate, and, my oh my, feel the jealousy.

Whenever you feel these emotions, it feels good in the beginning because you’re letting steam out.  It’s like letting out the pressure from a boiling teapot.  But dwelling in these emotions is like turning up the fire until all the water is vaporized.

DWELL on any of these, then you’ll go to the dark side.  Dwell means live in.

Now you’re empty.

As humans go, we tend to want to fill the emptiness with something.  For example, we buy things because we think it’ll make us happy.  And because once an object in motion stays in motion, we’ll fill it with more of the same stuff.  More fear, anger, hate, jealousy.

So don’t live in these emotions.  Feel them and let it go.  Turn your attention to something you like or love, something that you enjoy without being destructive.  Another words don’t eat your way to happiness.  Don’t inject your problems away.  Don’t fill your life with meaningless material things.

I tend to go to the gym when I come up against a wall.  Women in tight clothes tend to fill me with glee.  Yes, I’m a dork.  Or I’ll read a good book, watch a good movie, or talk to close friends.

Your question now should be:  Does feeling these emotions tell me anything?

If you feel fear, maybe there’s something to it.  Like if a guy approaches you and you have a creepy feeling about him, it’s time for you to leave.

If someone slaps you, and you feel angry, then it’s obvious you don’t like being slapped.

If you hate something, then maybe you don’t like it.

Or if you see someone approach your significant other, and you feel jealous, then maybe it shows you how much you love them.

No need to complicate things.

I delved into this a lot because several of my main characters deal with guilt.  So I did a lot of research about it.  And, man, we all need to let go.

Today, I’ve uploaded my second favorite lecture from the San Francisco Writer’s Conference.  It’s not a lecture but a panel of literary agents from fiction to non-fiction, from Christian literature to inspirational.

We were allowed to ask questions on what they wanted to see in books, how to submit queries, synopsis, and they talked about platforms and self-publishing.  All of it will give you a glimpse into what they’re looking for.

I do want to warn you that a hyena sat next to me who didn’t have the most pleasant of breath.  Imagine me sitting, and every time you hear him laugh, his fiery breath singed the left side of my face.  However, it didn’t take away from what I learned.

The surprising thing about the whole experience is that the answers to some of these questions varied widely.  Amazingly, agents are just like people.  So finding the right agent is just a matter of sifting through all the wrong ones.  For most successful authors, they tend to stick with their agents for a long time.  Again it’s just a testament that perseverance is vital in the achievement of our dreams.

And the other thing that I learned from the whole conference is how much of an author’s success rests in the author’s hand.  One person went as far to state that 90% of our success sits with us.  If you’re curious to how, go to my posts on Brenda Novak and Branding.

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Today I got my first rejection letter from an agent.  Rejection is prevalent in publishing.  But should we as writers expect it?  No.  In researching the publishing industry the one thing that is common is no one knows what makes a book a bestseller.  If the author is already successful, one who’s had traction from prior books, a fan following, then, yes, it’s one indication that the next book will be a bestseller.  Other than that, what makes a bestseller is a mystery.

So when an industry professional says anything negative about your work, what should you do?  See if the judgment has any validity.  If not, ignore it.

For those of us who love gorgeous women, Catherine Bell is a successful actress.  She’s been in hit TV shows such as JAG and Army Wives. A long time ago I saw an interview of hers, and the interviewer asked her if she had taken acting lessons.  She said yes, and then went on to say that one of her well known instructors told her that she’d never make it and couldn’t act.  Look at her filmography and tell me if she’s successful or not.

Around the same time, I watched a special on  George Lucas.  In it, either him or one of his classmates talked about one of their film instructors.  The instructor said, paraphrasing here, there was no future in film making, and they should all drop out.  What?

Not only that, but when he was making Star Wars, most of the English cast stated how ridiculous this movie was.  How it would never succeed.  That must have affected Lucas because he thought his movie was going to flop.  History tells otherwise.

One thing I’ve found with all successful people is they pursue their dream, their truth.  To me success is not only financial abundance, but spiritual and mental happiness.  Without happiness, what I believe to be the meaning of life, what good does money do?  Cause you can’t buy happiness.  The credit industry is proof of that.

The question becomes how far should we persevere to fulfill our dreams?  Or is there an end?