When I started writing, I was very open to learning cool techniques and concepts about storytelling. I read magazines, blogs, talked with other writers, read their recommendations on writing books, taken seminars, and gone to conferences. Almost all talked about theory. Very few talked about actual techniques.

As I checked my emails, I saw one come in. And he, a published author, who mentors other writers, interviewed a woman, who is also published and mentors. She said something interesting:

Beginning writers tend to think of themselves as the center of the universe and expect huge successes. They’re often not open to criticisms. Blah blah blah…

I haven’t encountered that, but I don’t mentor other writers. In taking classes, I am asked to read others writing and comment.  Whether they listen to me or not doesn’t really matter because it’s not my work. Only they can determine whether the criticisms are justified.  I’ve applied many suggestions and criticisms and rejected those that don’t help the story. I don’t make changes from a place of fear. Another words, if I fear that my book won’t sell because I don’t have a certain element, then I’ll probably reject that criticism.

Now going back to the email, here’s an example of taking advice with a grain of salt.  The interviewer asked her why she got into writing.  She said (her exact words):  For me it’s been looking back over my life and seeing all the input I’ve received over the years. Folks told me I could write when I wrote Christmas letters. My teachers saw the gift. And, yes, mentors have helped me hone the gift and encouraged me to continue.

Paraphrasing:  Praise the Lord, for He hath layeth on me a gifteth!

Did you read that?  She, in her head, is the center of the universe. She thinks she’s special after she just said beginning writers think they’re special. She ain’t no beginner, so does that mean you don’t have the right to feel special unless you’ve acquired a certain level of success?

In every moment of life, people should feel special about themselves. Who else, besides our doting parents, is going to feel that way about us?  Everyone has the right to exist. Everyone has the right to follow their passions, to explore their lives in different ways, and to live it as they wish, barring hurting anyone outside of themselves.

And the interviewer went along with it.  And this guy is reputable!

There’s some good advice out there. But when it comes to a story that is close to your heart, trust that that story will come out well, use actual writing techniques that will help tell your story (don’t use a flat head screwdriver on a phillips screw), and be clear about where your story and characters are heading.  That way when people give you suggestions or criticisms, you’ll know what to implement and what to throw out.

I usually use Steven King’s method.  Pay attention to the most common critiques. It’s a good sign you may need to fix it. But I had a friend point out my character’s reaction to a tragedy felt false to her. She explained why and I immediately took her suggestion and made the change. No one else pointed it out, but it matched exactly where the character was headed.  This same friend made a similar suggestion farther down the story, but to change it would flatten the overall character arch.  So I rejected it.

No one knows your story better than you. So be confident in it. And be open to learn and see what others see. Sometimes we writers are too close to see the forest.

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And it pained me to do so for several years.

But something great came out of it. I had sunk myself into my new found passion, writing. Actually, it wasn’t writing as much as book one of the 7th Province: NIGHTFALL.

Thousands of my heart wrenching emotions helped fuel my main character’s emotions on paper. Losses that he goes through were better felt, understood. Of course, what I went through is nothing compared to his emotions, but without the breakup, I couldn’t have delved as deeply as I did. Tears was always a sign I was heading in the right direction.

Writing, however, requires some level of consistency. I have to sit down somewhere and write, be it on paper, computer, or imagination. Unfortunately, I’m a lazy person.

In my emotional turmoil, I had found a home away from home.

Borders café had become a place I could sit down from all the things that would tear me away from writing my book: TV, Internet, refrigerator, bed, couch, HGTV. OK. I was watching a lot of HGTV. OK. I still do. So to help focus myself and give me little excuse to do anything else, I bought a coffee or tea, glued myself to a small wooden table in the dark corner of the bookstore, and dove into the world of NIGHTFALL. Despite the babies crying, college kids laughing, soccer moms arguing, coffee beans grinding, and the constant frothing of lattes, I was totally undisturbed.

Time flowed by like a bunch of kids playing in the field with the warm sun shining.

I had spent thousands upon thousands of hours writing at Borders. People knew my name. I had seen cycles of baristas drift through like ghosts. Specialty drinks changed with the seasons. It was a safe haven for me to call upon my tormenting muse and write. My bliss.

Then there was a disturbance in the force, more aptly called, the Internet. Rumblings of Border’s financial troubles sounded through the grape vines. Months went by with nothing happening. Barnes and Noble fell into a similar predicament. They came up with a simple solution. They saw what Amazon was doing with the Kindle and created the Nook. It was a brilliant move and probably saved Barnes and Noble from bankruptcy.

Borders wasn’t so fortunate. They ignored the potential of e-readers. Their predicament became worse. They had dug themselves into a black hole by acquiring too many stores. Cut back their closing time from eleven PM to ten to nine. This forced me to change my schedule so I could still write. Reducing the hours did nothing to save them. So they heeded their competitors and came up with their own e-reader, the Kobo. Did it work? Kobo is a monetary unit of Nigeria. Not sure if that was a great choice.

News ebbed that Borders was going to close down low performing stores. I had no problems with this. I doubted my Borders would be closed. Border’s parking lot was always full. Except after closing but that’s obvious.

One day I had walked in and I saw this:

A few days later, I’d found out my Borders was closing and they had let go of all their baristas. An era had ended for me. My home away from home was leaving. My tormenting muse had no use for me. Simply put, I had gotten over my old flame. With it the completion of NIGHTFALL, four years in the making.

Borders may have been a conglomerate, but this Borders became my refuge. I, for one, am grateful. Thank you.

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“We might as well not even show up, according to some of the experts,” Aubrey Huff said right before heading into the playoffs with the Phillies.

I’m not a baseball fan at all.  Hell, I’m not a sports fan.  I’ve gone to office sponsored games just because it was an excuse to get out of my 6 X 6 cubicle cell.

“We were underdogs the whole way, and all the experts out there picked us last,” Huff said after the San Francisco Giants won the World Series. “But we had heart, great pitching, defense and timely hitting. Experts be damned.”

Congratulations to the Giants as they did fight their way to the win.

Even I had heard from the experts, stating how the Phillies and Rangers would maul the Giants. But not only did the Giants kick ass, they literally mauled them, in baseball terms of course.

I’ve said this so many times on this site and to friends and family. The only reason experts are experts is because they are self-proclaimed, or know more about the details compared to the average person. Many have pieces of paper called degrees, or metal plates nailed onto pieces of dead wood called awards that prove their expertness. None of that helps people predict the future, especially yours.

When it comes to believing in yourself, going for what you truly want in life, and knowing who you are as a person, only you are the true expert. And even if an expert supports you, you still gotta get out there and do it, whatever that may be.

Keep a deaf ear to outsiders and listen to your heart.

Herein lies the problem. Most people don’t know what their heart says. I’ve asked what people want in life. What do they dream of? What would totally kick ass? Almost everybody says, “I don’t know.”

I didn’t know either. I had blocked out my dream so much, as it pulled my pant leg for twenty years, that I didn’t find it until I opened myself to myself. I asked probing questions. What do I like? What do I want? Ham sandwich or burrito for lunch? Blonde or brunette? How about both at the same time?

If I was financially independent, what would I do? After sleeping all day. After traveling aimlessly. After shopping for my twenty Ferraris and Lamborghinis.

If I was guaranteed to make a million a year, what profession would I choose? Would it be a profession?

I tried everything that had to do with the arts. Because I knew I wanted to do something creative. Martial arts. Writing. Drawing. Painting. Reading. Writing. Acting. Writing. Computer programming. Yup, that’s an art. Teaching. Film making. But the thing I returned to over and over was writing.

So I carved my life around writing. I went to writing conferences, seminars, read books on writing, discussed it, and bought software to help me brainstorm ideas. I bought a computer and printer. I got a new job that wasn’t as stressful. I had set times for writing. I wrote five days a week.

So I ask you.

What do you want?

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“Will they gain the life expectancy back with the time they put in the gym?” a salt-and-pepper haired man said.

“Not likely,” a chubby-cheeked man said.

“They’ve done studies where going to the gym doesn’t extend life expectancy but usually results in more injury,” salt and pepper said.

“It’s just a waste of time,” chubby cheeks said. “I have better things to do than spend my whole day at the gym.”

I wondered how much television they watched and how that was contributing to their quality of life. To some, a lot. To others who like to exercise and have passions outside of creating excuses for themselves, not much.

During my voluntary confinement in my 6 X 6 cubicle, what I’d like to refer to as my day job, my cube mate said, “I’m still carrying weight. I had him like a month ago.”

Her cube mate said, “It’s not like you’re a celebrity.”

One of the things I’ve done as a teacher, as an actor, and now a writer, is listen to what people say and do. You can read a lot about a person by what they’re saying. In both the above cases, excuses are being fed to themselves and each other about not doing something, exercise. But the excuses could’ve been anything:

“I don’t have time to pursue my art.”

“My passions aren’t going to pay for my bills.”

“It’s just a hobby. I can do it anytime. But with work, family…”

“I don’t even know where to begin. And who am I to think I can paint?”

“I don’t have them money to start this.”

I’ve definitely used excuses. What are they good for? Ultimately, excusing yourself from knowing the truth. What might that truth be? How powerful we are.

To attain anything great, we must first realize that we are capable. Once we become too entwined in our own self-doubt, we begin to create roadblocks that actually block us from moving forward.

I can’t tell you how many people widened their eyes and told me how impossible publishing a book can be. But the only way I can become a published author is to first write. If I don’t write and only focus on how difficult the road may be, I’ll never take the first step to get published. Does that mean those thoughts don’t occur in my head? No. I just focus on the task at hand, which is simply to write.

There are pundits at writing conferences that say you have to network, have a web presence, have white teef (teeth for you ghetto challenged), walk the walk, talk the talk, and be one with the all mighty universe (that would be Oprah) to get published.

Be as you wish to seem -Socrates

But none of that is important until I write. Writing to a writer is the most important task. Obvious write (right)? This simple philosophy is lost at writing conferences.

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This image has a double meaning.  Know what it is?

I told a coworker one of my ex-students had found a passion for freerunning. He turned to me, crinkled his brow, and said, “You can’t make a living doing that.”

I turned to him, crinkled my brow, and asked, “What if Tony Hawk came up to you and said he was going to make it big as a skateboarder. What would you say then?”

My coworker’s response was interesting but represents the sentiment of most people. Would you say something like this?  “I’d tell him that the chances of making any living in that is very small. Maybe 5 out of 1000 people would make it,” he said.

I don’t know where he got that statistic, but his point was simple. There’s so many people who’d want to make it in skateboarding that the chances are close to impossible.

The average human has one breast and one testicle.  –Des McHale

I told him that statistics mean nothing, that any reliance on those lies is a reliance on your ownlimitation.

He then countered with a really good counter. So good was his counter that I had to think hard in my counter to counter his counter. Are we counting how many times I used counter?

“Tony Hawk was lucky,” he said.

I think if he said that to Hawk, he’d slap him. Hell. I’d slap him.

To say anyone is lucky does two things. One, the skill and hard work people put into their success means nothing. Two, people are powerless to live their lives. Take what you get, cuz you ain’t gonna get any better.

To accomplish anything in life worth having, a person needs to take the first step. And many times it requires a sense of courage in the face of failure. There was a lot of talk in the nineties to the turn of the century about the fear of success. But that took away from the very real fear of failure.

Torture numbers, and they’ll confess to anything.  –Gregg Easterbrook

And when you rely on statistics, which can be manipulated to represent anything that anyone wants, you give your power away to live your life the way you want.

This is the basic choice of my hero’s journey in my book. Does he let someone else determine his life and the lives of his province? Or does he choose to fight for a life of freedom?

Ultimately, we all have to choose. Too often I see people choosing the “easy” way out, like relying on stats so they don’t have to go out and follow their passions. Follow your passions, for they may lead to great things.

Say you were standing with one foot in the oven and one foot in an ice bucket.  According to the percentage people, you should be perfectly comfortable.  –Bobby Bragan, 1963

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We’re both writers and we’d talked about writing the story that calls to us. With all the vampiric stories that are being churned both in the publishing and film industry, I don’t blame people for jumping on the band wagon.  But the point of being an artist is to express your soul.  And if your soul says write a vampire story, then write a vampire story.

When it comes to finding out what you want to do with your life, what story should be written, what path you should take, you need to be honest with yourself.  How do you be honest with yourself?

First of all, are you honest with other people? I’m not talking about being a saint, never telling lies, never doing anything wrong. Were human. But do you care about what other people say about you? Do care about what other people think about you? Do you put all your stock in your status in life?

Why is this important?

Because any of this, namely your ego, can block your true self.  You become motivated by the things that seem important–the size of your house, the German car in your massive garage, the name brand clothes you wear, the title of your job, bottled water.  Do these things matter?  That’s for you to decide.  Do they matter when it comes toexpressing yourself honestly? No.

When I went to the San Francisco Writers Conference, Richard Paul Evans, one of the keynote speakers said something that really hit home. Especially since he’s a New York Times bestselling author.  He said write your truth.  Don’t hop on the bandwagon. Don’t be a follower.  Lead by leading.

Bruce Lee said the same thing. Honestly express yourself.

Look at the things that you’re drawn to.  Do you love music?  Any particular kind?  Try that out.  Do you love software programming?  Try that out.  Do you love selling?  If you have an affinity for houses, maybe you should be a real estate agent.  Or if you love helping people get healthier, maybe you should try physical therapy, personal training, nursing.

Is there a common theme that runs throughout your life?

For me, I’ve always loved stories.  And I always loved fantasizing, putting myself in action movie roles, imagining what it would be like to be betrayed by a close friend, finding myself in a fantasy land where I’m a warlord.  Since my sophomore year, I’ve tried to write novels.  But when it came to deciding a major in college, I never thought of majoring in English or creative writing.  Why?  I’m not sure.  Maybe the things I had to go through as a person lent itself to writing the series of novels that I’m writing now.

I’m not angry about it.  Nor do I judge it.  I realize that I have stories to be told, and I’m telling them.

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One of the things about the documentary was the number of cancer patients who fought for life and found a renewed appreciation for life.  This led me to the question:  What would I do if I had a limited number of days to live?

In human reality, I do have a limited number of days to live.  I may live to be 100.  I may live for one more day.  I can’t be concerned with which.  I can only focus on what I want to do NOW.  And it’s the reason why I’vesearched for my passion. Once I’ve found it, I jumped in head on.

What would you do, since you also have a limited number of days to live?

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“It takes five seconds a day and you’ll see results yesterday. It’s so easy you’ll barely do anything but sit there.”

Yeah. The result is that you just bought a piece of crap machine that does nothing but take your $19.95 from your credit card.

I was eating cheese today with a group of people and heard a woman say how ignorant Americans were. She was talking about how the cheese made overseas was better than cheese made in America.

I thought, What?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!

What you see with the ?!?!?!???? is what we edumacated writers call a no no, a sin, a taboo in accepted English grammar.

Why we be so ignant? Cuz we ignant Americans have a law dat requires pasturizin da cheese.

For you folks I misspelled these words on purpose. Ignant for the Ebonics challenged means ignorant. Dat means that.

Getting back to ignance…

When I went to Walmart I looked at a ream of paper. One pack was a dollah fitty. Another was two dollah fitty. What was the difference? I have no idea. One dollah?

Can I make my own paper? No. In fact, I go to Walmart because I can’t make paper as good as the two dollah fitty version, let alone the one dollah fitty version. I doubt that ego ridden woman sitting on her highchair could make paper. Yes, the highchair babies use.

To further my point, she can’t make anything Walmart sells. That’s why Walmart sells stuff. So we don’t need to know how to make stuff. That doesn’t make us ignant. It allows us to focus on things that are more important. Like friends and family, our passions, or just being.

So the next time anyone makes fun of Walmart, ask them if they can make anything they sell. 100 to nothin they can’t.

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Native Americans had to protect their villages.  Scots fought for their land and freedom during the English occupation.  Samurai fought for their warlords during Japan’s monarchy.  Spartons threw their young into the agoge to become Greece’s special forces.

Life was treacherous.  As a result, fighting became a necessity.

But do you have to start at a young age to be good at anything?  It seems that a lot of successful people of today started their endeavors when they were children.  Michael Jackson is a good example.  The turn out for his remembrance is a tribute to his passion and hard work.  But look at the other brothers.  What happened to them?

What about the colonel?  That’s right.  The man who made fried chicken a staple in America?  Did he start frying poultry when he was young?  He had a variety of jobs that had little to do with flightless birds.  It wasn’t until his late forties that he started a cafe, and his fried chickens had become popular.  Then at the ripe young age of sixty six did he start selling franchises, which of course spawned the empire all chickens fear today.

The Ultimate Fighting Championship is about to have its 100th pay per view show this weekend.  The heavyweight champion, Brock Lesnar, started to train how to fight just a few years ago.  It’s fair to say that a lot of great fighters on the UFC roster started when they were young.  And Lesnar is highly talented as an athlete.  But the one thing the UFC has proven over and over again is talent and experience has little to do with winning.  More than hard work, it’s a mindset forged under the heat of severe competition.

For Lesnar to become the heavyweight champion in four fights, which is amazing in its own right, he had to overcome some very experienced and gifted fighters.  In listening to his many interviews, he always knew his unproven ability to win, worked extremely hard, and approached both his fights and training with an intelligence that some heavyweights ignored.  A lot of them relied on their weight and size to prevail.

He scoffed at critics who said he was too green for the sport of mixed martial arts, that he needed experience before he could even challenge the prior champion, and, despite his explosiveness and size, knew he had to learn quickly with a furious pace.

Is it ever too late to start anything?

Yes.  When you’re dead.

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Disasters.

I told her that disasters occur at the end of most scenes. And if a scene did end on a positive note, a win for our hero, a disaster would quickly follow.

She was taken aback. And she’s well read. “Pollyanna is boring,” she said.

Now, I was surprised she didn’t know this. Because I took this basic story element for granted. All good writers know this, however.

So why am I posting this? Because I spend so much time hiding writing techniques, making sure different story elements work undercover like a secret agent.

When you watch an Olympic ice skater perform, you don’t see every single technique, the thousands of hours of practice, and the relentless coaching. What you see is greatness.

Not that I want to neglect the practice of making my writing seamless, effortless. But people are totally more concerned with a story being good. Whether they can see the technique used, doesn’t matter. Does your story have passion? Heart?

I read an interview of top editors from different major publishing houses. They said one of the worst things they faced were stories that were technically written well, but lacked heart. At that point they couldn’t tell the writer what to do.

Ask yourself. What is the purpose of your story? What is the message you’re trying to convey?

Take Matrix. The message is simple. Anything is possible if you believe in yourself.

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