Have you ever felt angry?  Then have the crazy thought it was wrong to feel this way?

I was talking to a friend today.  She made huge changes in her life recently.  Changes that was necessary.  Fortunately, she’s grown quite a bit.

A lot of the things she went through, I witnessed some of it, angered her.  Anyone in her position would definitely feel obligated, entitled to be pissed off.  Then she said it was wrong to feel this way and tried to think positive thoughts.

That gets me.

One of the most annoying things the self-help industry has tried to push is thinking positively.  It’s on the level of losing weight and getting six pack abs through electrodes. Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to jealousy.  OK…should be suffering.

Damn you, Yoda!

Sorry, Mr. Lucas.

First of all, humans are like…people.  And people feel things.  They want to feel things.  If they didn’t, then why write stories that have drama?  Conflict?  Why does reality TV only show stuff that gets our blood boiling?

Cuz we be addicted to emotion.

Feel the the fear, the anger, the hate, and, my oh my, feel the jealousy.

Whenever you feel these emotions, it feels good in the beginning because you’re letting steam out.  It’s like letting out the pressure from a boiling teapot.  But dwelling in these emotions is like turning up the fire until all the water is vaporized.

DWELL on any of these, then you’ll go to the dark side.  Dwell means live in.

Now you’re empty.

As humans go, we tend to want to fill the emptiness with something.  For example, we buy things because we think it’ll make us happy.  And because once an object in motion stays in motion, we’ll fill it with more of the same stuff.  More fear, anger, hate, jealousy.

So don’t live in these emotions.  Feel them and let it go.  Turn your attention to something you like or love, something that you enjoy without being destructive.  Another words don’t eat your way to happiness.  Don’t inject your problems away.  Don’t fill your life with meaningless material things.

I tend to go to the gym when I come up against a wall.  Women in tight clothes tend to fill me with glee.  Yes, I’m a dork.  Or I’ll read a good book, watch a good movie, or talk to close friends.

Your question now should be:  Does feeling these emotions tell me anything?

If you feel fear, maybe there’s something to it.  Like if a guy approaches you and you have a creepy feeling about him, it’s time for you to leave.

If someone slaps you, and you feel angry, then it’s obvious you don’t like being slapped.

If you hate something, then maybe you don’t like it.

Or if you see someone approach your significant other, and you feel jealous, then maybe it shows you how much you love them.

No need to complicate things.

I delved into this a lot because several of my main characters deal with guilt.  So I did a lot of research about it.  And, man, we all need to let go.

I’ve read a lot of books regarding success and personal growth.  There are three main things they focus on.  The way you think, the way you feel, and the way you act.

One of the biggest publishing successes for personal growth was The Secret.  I have a copy of it.  It’s main focus is thought.  Think it, dream it, and voila, it appears.

One  main thing it skims over is action.  The book refers to Jack Canfield.  It’s actually my favorite part of the book.  One of the things he did was write a check out for $100,000 dollars and every morning he looked at it.  Then he got an idea, an inspiration to write a book.  He sold the book for .25 cents each.  He followed the golden nuggets of inspiration, advertised in the National Inquirer, and sold close to 400,000 copies.  Not only did he basically reach his envisioned goal, he celebrated.  Then he got another idea to write something called Chicken Soup for the Soul.  It was a bit successful.  If you call a major hit a bit.

What’s the moral of the story?  Know where you are.  Know where you want to be.  Act on it.  Do something about it.  Just do it.  Sound familiar?  A small shoe company uses that slogan.

Years ago, my best friend and I were debating about what was more important.  Positive thought or Action thought.  What do you think?

You can wish to win the lottery, but until you buy a ticket, it’s unlikely you’re going to win.

Personally, positive thought is overrated.  Progressive thought, on the other hand, is awesome.  You want something?  Go for it.  Take the first step toward it.  Too many people want the success without putting the work behind it.  Think what you need to do to get what it is you want.

My friend coined the term progressive thought.  Thought that moves you toward your goal.  You want to be a great sprinter?  Sprint.  Want to be a great snowboarder?  Snowboard.  Want to write the great American novel?  Write.

And a small word on positive thinking.  It’s not about thinking positively, but ignoring the crap that doesn’t help you.  If a friend came up to you and said, “I wanna be an actor.”  Most people would be like, “Good luck, dude.  It’s like totally hard, man, and it’s so not practical.”  DON’T LISTEN TO THAT CRAP!  Let it roll off your back, have a progressive thought like, “I’m going to take acting classes.”  You are now one step closer toward your dream.  Isn’t that what Tom Hanks did?  Read his story.  It’s amazing.

Just do it.